Every hobby has its own lexicon and video games are no different.  Each group of gamers has their own slang terms to describe their shared experiences.  Here at Bomb Guts, we’re going to expand your gaming vocabulary, so you no longer sound like Charlie Korsmo in Can’t Hardly Wait.  Hit the jump to educate yourself.

I have been playing video games for basically my whole life.  Ever since my parents brought home an NES, Christmas 1989, I have been enthralled by what has become my favorite pastime.  Growing up, I was fortunate enough to have someone to experience these memories with, my childhood friend Eddie Wilkes.  The advantages of a shared experience is that you both get each other more involved in the hobby.

It’s a little hard to describe, but Eddie had a very special way of talking about the games he played.  Rather than using most of the established, accepted terms, he spoke his own language.  It not only made sense when you heard it, but you also began to USE it in context almost immediately.  He was like The Rock of video games.  No one really knew what The Rock was cooking, or what a jabroni was, but somehow it just made sense.  In this way, Eddie’s language made sense to us growing up, as well.  So allow me to bring you: Eddie-isms.

Koopa (coo-puh), pronoun The end boss of any video game.
Usage: You’ve been playing Contra for hours. Did you beat the Koopa yet?

This is probably the very first Eddie-ism I remember.  To most of us, Koopa was a reference to King Koopa (or Bowser), the final boss of the Mario games.  But for Eddie and his family, the Koopa was synonymous with ALL end bosses.  Imagine my confusion when Eddie’s dad asked me if I made it to the Koopa in Altered Beast.  What the fuck are you talking about?  Did you make it to the Lex Luthor of Lethal Weapon 2?  While I no longer use this as a modern term, it still somehow fits when referring to beating the end boss of retro games.

Spitball (spit-ball), n Any power up that gives the player character the ability to throw projectiles.
Usage:  Did you know that you can also kill the Koopa with Spitballs?

Spitball is another Mario reference, this time meaning power-up.  When Mario obtains a fire flower, he can shoot fire balls from his hands.  Although not entirely his fault due to the NES sprite’s limitations, Eddie always thought Mario was spitting the fireballs from his mouth, rather than raising his hand to shoot them.  Thus he called them spitballs.  (See also: The Hatchet in Adventure Island.)

Duked (dooked), v 1 To juke more than once.   2 To perform a skilled escape maneuver.
Usage: Holy shit!  You just duked the whole defense by wiggling back and forth! (Joe Montana’s Football)

This is perhaps one of the first words to be widely used by all our friends.  Duked was like a super juke.  In Madden 95, you could endlessly juke, chaining one spin after the other.  Faking out an opponent with any more than one juke is considered a duke.  Duking also warrants about three times as much trash talk.  Sometimes duking can also refer to a sick escape, such as jumping out of danger in a FPS while capturing the flag or shooting a green shell backwards to avoid getting hit in Mario Kart 64.

The Koviet Soviet (the ko-vee-it so-vee-it), n A common automatic assault rifle with a minor scope-zoom function.
Usage:  The Klobb’s a piece of shit.  Grab a Koviet Soviet instead.

The KF7 Soviet, was one of the more balanced weapons in Goldeneye 64.  I have no idea how two letters and a number became the word Koviet, but somehow along the way it did.  And we laughed.  But as it turns out, none of us really could remember the KF7 part, yet we could ALL remember Koviet.  We all started calling it the Koviet Soviet that day, and never looked back.  No fucking kidding, I had to look up the real name of this weapon before I could write this.  All I know is Koviet, 12 years later.  (See also: The KF7 Special in Perfect Dark.)

The Diddly (the did-lee), n Small chimpanzee wearing a red hat and t-shirt, prone to cheating.
Usage:  The only character that can return a perfect Boo serve is the fucking Diddly.

More of a modern term, the Diddly is actually a derogatory nickname for Diddy Kong.  After Rare and Nintendo parted ways, Diddy Kong managed to sneak his way into more and more first-party Nintendo games.  The problem with this is that this chimp is a cheating asshole.  He always uses his tail for an unfair advantage in sports games like tennis, making bullshit saves.  And his Giant Banana can be devastating in Baby Park (where all real men settle scores in Double Dash!!!).  What a prick.  At least he pretty much sucks in Smash Bros.

Kazain (kuh-zane), pronoun An overly powerful custom character.
Usage:  Why can’t I beat this guy? IT’S THE KAZAIN!

Perhaps the oddest of all Eddie-isms, the Kazain is technically a creation of Ed Wilkes Senior, later adopted by Eddie, and eventually our group.  No one quite knows the origin of this word.  It is rumored to have first appeared when Eddie’s dad was still in college, but further inquiries always come up empty.  The Kazain refers to a create-a-character that is powerful enough to exploit game mechanics.  A wrestler that can make you submit 30 seconds into a match, or a quarterback with a 99 in all stats (including speed and tackling), are great examples of Kazains.  Under ordinary circumstances, if only one player has access to a Kazain, you would think the unfairness would cause the slighted opponent to complain.  However, if the Kazain-wielder shouts “It’s the Kazain!” any time he is used, it is considered fair and must be forgiven.

Main Kazain (mayne kuh-zane), pro pronoun 1 An even more overly powerful customer character.   2 A group of more than one Kazain.
Usage:  Why can’t I beat these guys? IT’S THE MAIN KAZAIN!

Sometimes in life (although RARELY), a Kazain just isn’t enough to get the job done.  It’s in these circumstances that you need to use a Main Kazain.  Sometimes he is simply a more powerful Kazain, while other times he is actually a second Kazain to be used in conjunction with the first Kazain.  This is all but a guarantee that victory will be obtained (stolen), as even a seasoned expert should be no match for TWO Kazains.  Did you somehow sack my Kazain?  Well, good luck stopping him as his passes to a 9 ft. receiver who can run twice as fast as your legit corners.  Don’t blame me for only running the “Short Crosses.”  You’re the one that can’t stop it.

Sorceress Memorabilia (sore-sir-us mem-or-uh-beel-ya), n A misnomer for a location in a video game.
Usage:  Did you beat Final Fantasy VIII yet? No, I haven’t gotten past the Sorceress Memorabilia.

This one might come as a super obscure reference, except to those out there familiar with Final Fantasy 8.  Late in the game, you visit an area called the Sorceress Memorial.  I once asked Eddie how far into disc 3 he was, and he said the Sorceress Memorabiblia, or what I assumed he meant as Memorabilia (still wrong, but closer).  I’m 90% sure that the actual word memorabilia can only be used after the word sports.  UPDATE: And after trips to Disney World.

And there you have it, eight new vocabulary words for you.  Why only eight?  When learning a new language its best to focus, and immerse yourself in small chunks.  This way, you can master building blocks which are in turn used as foundation for the more advanced phrases and lexemes.  Or equally as likely, after a BBQ chicken and crab cake slider from Ruby Tuesday’s, Eddie and I failed to come up with any more.  Unfortunately, we’ve forgotten quite a lot over the years.  I blame the internet, search engines, and smart phones.  Sorry.

It’s safe to say, that by tomorrow you’ll all be using these in your everyday conversations, but perhaps you have some lingo of your own you wish to share?  Feel free to expand upon this list below.  We’d love to hear from you!